Four years of barrenness

We married pretty early by Singapore standards.

We wanted to have our first child before before my wife turns 30. 

Our first child took us four years to try.

During these four years, the disappointment grew heavier and heavier for my wife to bear.

But as the disappointment got heavier, God's call to us to draw near to Him got louder. 

Eventually we surrendered to Him. We did not surrender so that He could bless us with a child. We surrendered because He is more than enough for us. 

We accepted that He could have called us to be childless but it didn't matter because He is more than enough. 

It was about a month after we surrendered that we realised that she was late. We did a home test and two lines appeared.

Strangely I wasn't hopping around. I was elated but my heart felt very rested. It was as if the Lord was speaking to me that we are ready to steward the life that he has breathed into her womb.

The other one time that I felt the Lord telling me that I'm ready was regarding my wife. 

The four years of barrenness was the Lord's way of preparing us for parenthood. It helped us to question our motives for wanting a child.

From "I want a child to call my own" to "I am a steward of this life". 

There's a saying that when it rains, it pours. This is usually meant in the negative sense but I must say that when God rains his blessings, He literally pours them. It is so easy to get intoxicated in God's blessings but once again, I'm reminded that there's a reason for Him blessing us with children.